Friday, April 15, 2011

yes, i did..

now, since noone really reads my blog, they wont be thinking .. she did what?!... but i guess that the beauty of this, i can say whatever i want and noone will read it, or noone i know!!! (except my cousin sarah)... so, anyways back to the story.. we were on one of our costco binges the other day, buying everything they had in stock when we went down the sock & underwear isle.. and what did i buy?.. yes.. granny panties.. some nice, full coverage underwear... and i tried them on today-holy moly!! can you say cozy?!... yes.. i think i will be leaving victoria secrets behind for some time and buying my undies from costco wholesale...i hear and read all these things about after the baby and how i will be wearing my lovely period diaper and underwear and what more could i want post baby than cozy undies?!.. 
life is life, i hate complaining of having poopie things happening, but thats kinda how its been the last 2 days.. 
i guess i should back up, 30 is here!.. 30 came on monday, we had a nice lazy day and then i was gone in the afternoon, but tuesday we had made plans to have a BBQ/ dinner party.... we had about 15 friends over, carne asada, tamales, and yummy foods. we ate lots and just enjoyed friends company, for some reason i found it to be stressful, we cleaned up (last minute) and thats what got me, i was stressed about people coming over, getting everything done in time, etc and of course things were fine.. i get awkward about hosting events, and feel like a balancing clown... its interesting to see how the dynamics of our friends have changed, there were about 4 couples here that have kids and all but 1 family had the kids with them, it was nice and fun..and to think next bday we will have our own lil rugrat with us!!!... so yes, i embraced 30 and feel fine about it. 
ok, so back to the last 2 days.. i woke up early tuesday morning with cramps, bad cramps, vomiting and poop. it was very yucky, everytime i laid down the cramps started and then i started timing them.. thinking can this be early labor?!.. shit! im not ready for this?!.. over 2 hrs passed of this and i called the drs office crying... i was emotional and of course after reading my books and seeing i had symptoms of preterm labor i was sure Bubble was going to come out at 26.3 weeks... nope, dr. said i had a 24hr bug and that i needed to go home, rest and just eat bread.. i was so wiped out and exhausted that i laid around the rest of the day.. the dr was a bit concerned because i was not feeling Bubble move around like i had before, and said we would be in touch today, so anyways, i wasnt feeling Bubble move this morning, juice, bread, nothing got the baby going, so i called & they had be have 2 large cups of juice & lay still, if Bubble didnt move 5 times in an hr, they wanted to see me.. ok- end of story, Bubble is fine... heart beat was at 169 and there was enough amniotic fluid and so all is well. Bubble is moving a bit more tonight, which is nice.. Wilson and I were talking and he was kind of like "do you think youre over reacting?".. and in some ways i was, i was being hypervigilant about Bubble, but if something was to happen, I wouldnt be able to live with myself, and i feel so lucky and blessed to be having such an easy pregnancy that i was just waiting for the bomb to drop, like "sorry jenny, we threw you a bone but were gonna fuck with you and heres Bubble at 26 weeks, ready to come out.." i admit i cried, i prayed and asked for Gods help, we want Bubble to stay in my tummy till the very end.....
Although wilson and i spend lots of time together, we ve been feeling a bit lost lately, i had been planning on taking him for a mini trip to napa, before Bubble comes, just as a get away, and today he tells me hes feeling the same way, and wants to go back to hawaii!!!... i admit it would be nice, but not sure thats what i want to do 8 months pregnant and for all that money! i showed him the costs and he says "nah"... but that he doesnt wanna do a napa trip either, but i really would like some kind of lil get away, pre-baby... a nice time to explore a new area and be away from the day to day stress....
school is really overwhelming me right now, i dont think its the pregnancy, so much as its just school.... just under a month to go and then- BREAK!!! exciting!!!.. i can not wait.. ok, 
im tired and ready for sleep. xoxo

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