Saturday, January 29, 2011

Here We Go...

Learning to Blog.... here goes nothing.. i hear of family and friends who blog, they love it, and enjoy it... being a lil nutty i thought this maybe a good way to express ideas, thoughts, feelings and my ideas on life. 
Tomorrows my 16th week of pregnancy, feeling good for the most part and excited to see how things will go over the next 24 weeks! I've been trying to keep up with the gym, eating as healthy as i can (but i LOVE cheese, bread, and yummy food!!) I feel unattractive, like people look at me and think, why does this chubby girl not get her booty to the gym?! does she know how to eat better?!.. i feel like i should wear a sign that says, "im trying! but im pregnant!" Looking at myself at the gym can be so discouraging, tummy blubber staring at me in the mirror.... i hate it, drives me nuts.. and i have had my boughts with craziness and eating issues and i have to tell myself this is not the time to become a food nazi. Bubble (thats what we call the baby) needs me to be stable, eat and not act all crazy! I just wish i looked pregnant, so that i'd feel like people could/ would understand me.. that is if they even notice, care or think im fat. 
i feel so lucky, i have this amazing husband who loves me, cares for me and is so generous. often i can not believe this is my life, how did i get so lucky?!.. life was crazy soap opera, that somehow ended in a fairytale. wilson and i have had out battles and ups and downs, but if we can keep on this path for the rest of our lives, life will be sweeeeet!!
i applied for a 10k scholarship the other day, fingers crossed i have a good chance at getting it, it would so be a big help next year, with the baby, internship and not being able to work too much, itll help us pay tuition and get by. 
school started this past week; NO motivation! i would just sit there, doodle and not care about what they had to say, thats prolly not good. i need to rejuvenate myself, and really get in the school mood.. gotta get a killer gpa to help boost last semesters... 
ok, enough blogging for day 1. xoxo