When will I learn?!

Ok, you would think by age 29 I would know when I am hungry and when Im not... so yes, i was with some friends who had a burrito bar for dinner, I make myself a HUGE quesidilla with guacamole on it, and eat the whole damn thing.. GROSS... it seems to be a pattern of mine.. i did it today with oatmeal and then a bowl of yogurt... i mean i know that im not eating mc donalds every day, all day but still it makes me feel so gross... i begin not to like myself and feel uncomfortable.. i feel fat and unsure of myself. Sometimes i have these horrible thoughts, fatty girl thoughts, thoughts of purging and hatred and i know that is all wrong. im carrying a child and i cant do anything that can hurt this baby, i dont even want to have bad thoughts in my mind, cause i feel like they transpire to bubble and thats not good. i dont wanna have a baby that is like me; insecure filled with self dislike and have icky thoughts like i have. 
ive been feeling kinda down and hormonal lately, i was sick and feeling horrible all of yesterday; its like when i get a cold it really knocks me to the ground and i just cant do anything. i went to bed early the night before, and slept most of yesterday... i felt like wilson was being crabby and not loving on me.. i get so sulky and then i get mad, having a pitty party for myself ...and get truly annoyed with him... i get all these silly thoughts in my head, and they fester... ughhh....
on the other hand, i went and got my hair done today, i love seeing my hairdresser; she cracks me up and is so silly. she cut my hair much shorter than i planned and gave me bangs!! but i think i really like it.. well at least i like it...i wonder what wilson will say! i havent cut my hair in a few years, so itll be a change.. and im kinda disappointed that the color underneath hair couldnt go away.. its a copper color now.. i was wanting the whole thing to go blonde.. but what can ya do.. she said that itll prolly take another visit to get the whole things blonde again, but change is good. right?!.. 
im sad to think of posting this, prolly my most sulky post. but i guess like cant be roses all the time... until next time...